Saturday, March 3, 2012

Waiting to Adopt is Hard. Really Hard.

On March 1st we hit a milestone that, as a family, we were hoping we could skip. March 1st marked 2 full years that we have officially been “in the book” waiting to adopt #2. This means we had started the adoption process months earlier, in order to have fingerprints taken, background checks done and the Home Study completed so we would be ready to start waiting on March 1st. In the last two years we have had to update everything two more times, because it has to be completed yearly. More meetings with the adoption agency, more fingerprints, more checks written. Ugh.

Anyone who has adopted, or is waiting to adopt, understands the process, knows how long the wait is and how frustrating it is to prove that you will in fact be a good parent. It definitely feels like this waiting is never going to end...

Going into the process, we knew the average wait this time was around 2 years, however we also went in with high hopes. At least I sure did. We worked with the same agency a few years ago when we adopted our son, and our wait was much less – he was in our home just 6 months after going “into the book”, even though at that time the average wait was 18 months.

When we adopted the first time, we went into the book on Sept 23 and on March 1st we received our first call, from his Birth-Grandma. We arranged to drive to their hometown the following weekend (4 hours from where we live) to meet him, his birthparents and some extended family. That was an emotional day as we met both the little boy who would become our son, his birth-parents and his biological family. We were able to spend some time with him on both Saturday and Sunday and then a new type of waiting began. We felt like things had gone well, but we had to wait until the birthparents contacted our adoption agency for things to really move forward. Two days later, on Tuesday, his birth-parents contacted our adoption agency and made arrangements to meet in Minneapolis that Friday to sign the paperwork and transfer him to our care. Just fifteen days after that first phone call, we brought our son home on March 16th.

This photo is one of the first pictures we took on the way home on our very first day as his parents. We have not edited this photo – the look in his eyes is exactly what we saw. That expression just makes me melt...

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During the days that followed we were blessed with some amazing moments as we began our journey as parents of an 8-month-old. Here are a few pictures from the first 4 days – he was HAPPY, but his happiness couldn’t compare to the joy we felt about finally becoming parents after trying for years.

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It’s comforting to look back on these pictures and know that we will eventually bring another baby into our home, and will be able to experience these same joys again. But today, that moment feels so far away.

As we have passed our 2-year waiting mark, we are also creeping up on March 16th, a day for celebration - Gotcha Day for Anthony! On March 16th we will be celebrating 5 years since he has been home with us.

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We will continue to wait until we are chosen by a birth-family, and will look forward to sharing our good news with all of you! Until then, we wait.

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